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The Rat Song

from Wurz ‘Ee II by The Mangledwurzels

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lyrics

One sunny morning I was out there workin’ on me farm,
Me ol’ mate ‘Arry spoke to me; he caused me some alarm.
The thing that what ‘ee ‘ad to tell, it caused me some dismay,
I ‘ad to throw me pitchfork down and up and run away…

He said: You’re never more that 9-yard from a Rat,
You’re never more that 9-yard from a Rat.
When you’re out there in the ‘taters,
They’ll start runnin’ up y’r gaitors!
Oh, you’re never more that 9-yard from a Rat!

I jumped into me harvester, to contemplate me fate
I thought I’d put me radio on to try and calm me state.
The fellow on me wireless, he cut me to the core,
Rat populations on the rise, they’re getting more and more...

Now, you’re never more that 6-yard from a Rat,
You’re never more that 6-yard from a Rat.
Despite that what we’m tryin’,
They’re always multiplyin’!
You’re never more that 6-yard from a Rat!

I rushed down to the village pub ‘cos things was getting worse,
I opened up the newspaper to see chapter and verse,
My eyes fell on an article; it was such a to-do,
When liftin’ up ‘is toilet seat – a Squirrel in the loo!

Oh, you’re never more that 4-foot from a Rat,
You’re never more that 4-foot from a Rat.
It do really make me pale,
A Rat with a fluffy tail!
Oh, you’re never more that 4-foot from a Rat!

I went up to the Barmaid there, I needed some escape,
I thought I’d try and chat ‘er up, and ask ‘er for a date.
The thing that what she said to me, it cut me to the quick
She said I’d better ask me wife, and called me a great - pillock!

She said: I’m never more than 2 foot from a rat!
I’m never more that 2-foot from a Rat.
When I’m up there fillin’ tumblers,
There’s nowt worse than they punters!
Oh, I’m never more that 2-foot from a Rat!

She’s never more than 2-foot from a rat!
She’s never more that 2-foot from a Rat.
When She’s up there fillin’ tankards,
There’s nowt worse than they - idiots!

Oh, She’s never more that 2-foot from a Rat! – They’re on the increase!
She’s never more that 2-foot from a Rat! – She’ll call the landlord!
You’re never more that 2-foot from a Rat!

credits

from Wurz ‘Ee II, released July 24, 2009
D. J. Sampson

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The Mangledwurzels England, UK

The Mangledwurzels are a three-piece Scrumpy & Western band based in Somerset writing and performing in the style of Adge Cutler. Formed in 2005, the band has established themselves across the West Country with their highly entertaining live performances blending classic Wurzels songs with self-penned original compositions and pop standards 'Mangled' in true Wurzels tradition. ... more

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